Housecleaning Tips For Internet Junkies
(or those who don't wanna be accused of
being on the puter all day long...like
that ever happens)
1. Sweeping And Mopping The Floors
Have dog sweep floors with tail and
lick up all crumbs. Any stubborn
spots that require scrubbing,
recruit cat you may have to add
tuna water to spot. If you don't
have a dog or cat, well you are
in trouble. Go find one roaming
the neighborhood quick!
2. Vacuuming
Call for demo from salesman.
Have him show you how the
vacuum works in all parts
of the house, insisting the
carpet looks the same, but
really is different in all
parts of the house. Tips
for success: Don't always call
same company. Keep a chart and rotate.
3. Dusting
Only do what is at eye level
or below, and only right before
someone is coming over!Run rag
over everything quickly. Don't
even waste your precious time
on the Pledge or Endust...
that's minutes away from your
puter. And that is just plain
unacceptable! For the illusion
of using those products, spray a
few squirts to air like air freshener.
4. Laundry
First find a good place to hide
it! If you have to do it...like
you have no underwear.
(Heck who needs underwear?)
Okay, lets say its time to
fold those rotten clothes...run
the dryer again and again
and again, and when the utility
bill comes have a stroke!
5. Cleaning Toilet
Close the lid!
6. Cleaning Shower
Close the shower door or curtain.
7. Cleaning The Rest Of The Bathroom
Close the door. Again, for the
illusion of a freshly cleaned bath
pour some Lysol in the trash can.
That illusion will stay until you
finally get someone to empty the
trash for you. Speaking of which...
8. Taking Out The Trash
If you can't find anyone in
your house to take it out,
bribe a neighbor. Say you hurt
your back or some other sob story.
That one might be good for getting
at least a few sympathy dinners out
of the neighbor as well!
Try not to use it too often...
they might get suspicious.
9. Dishes
Dishwasher: If it doesn't come
off run it again and again.
If that doesn't work, throw the
dish out and start fresh.
Better yet, paper plates, plastic
utensils and plastic cups are
far better way to go.
(as long as your neighbor is
taking out the trash).
We hope you find our list helpful
in allowing you more and more
online time. As we have all
learned frozen dinners and take
out foods are a life saver on those
days that you just can't seem to
get your butt outta the puter chair...
good luck. We hope to see more of
you on line soon!
~~*~~Author Unknown~~*~~ Thank you for Visiting. |
